The following is a letter I wrote this past week to try and focus some of my thoughts and feelings in a positive and healing direction after being assaulted and robbed at gunpoint in Piedmont Park while enjoying a summer evening picnic with my loved one. You can read about the events of the evening here:
Gay men report being robbed at gunpoint in Piedmont Park
Men Asked Victims ‘Are You Gay?’ Before Attack - News Story - WSB Atlanta
Gay Couple Beaten, Robbed at Piedmont Park - 11Alive.com | WXIA | Atlanta, GA
An Open Letter to the Beloved Community:
I have been thinking a lot about you over the past week and reflecting more on what it means to bring you into full existence. Rev. King describes you as a vision of total relatedness, transcending all demographics, embracing all, with justice for everyone, the alleviation of economic and social inequality, where everyone has the physical and spiritual necessities of life. As I try to make meaning out of the traumatic events of the past week, I find myself now in permanent relationship with people who I don’t know anything about other than the fact that they confronted me and my loved one in the park while we were enjoying a nice summer evening picnic and could have easily taken our lives or caused serious physical harm. It is a sobering thing to have a loaded gun pressed against your head, and that moment has been branded into my memory forever. It has reminded me that life is short, tomorrow is not promised, and every moment is a precious gift not to be wasted. So what do I do with the time I have left? What would you have me do at this unique personal intersection of race, class, age, sexual orientation, and religion to advance your presence among us?
Over this past week, I have spent a lot of that time thinking about the young men I encountered in the park and I am sure they have thought a lot about me. I wonder how people so young could have found themselves in a position to make the decision to assault and rob people that they perceived to be gay and not think through the harm that it would cause to us, to the community and to themselves. Clearly spiritual starvation is at play in all of this, and I wonder what else.
Do they really hate me and people like me? Or do they merely think that we are easy targets? What led them to ask us if we were gay and then to conclude without even waiting for a response that we should be beaten for that? Would they still have approached us if we had been a man and a woman? Would they still have approached us if we were two men of the same race? Where did they even get these ideas in the first place? It doesn’t take much effort to find negative stereotypes about gay people or about young black men in our culture, and we have seen these stereotypes play out in community discourse over the past week. We live in a culture that so easily gives us permission to demonize the other without taking the time to look at the bigger picture or to hear stories from people who are different from us. I think about these questions over and over in my mind, praying for guidance, for a clear sense of what this all means, and wondering what my responsibility is in all of this.
My thoughts and reflections over the past week have led me to a fork in the road with two potential paths to take. One being a path of fear and the other being a path of love.
For me, the path of fear is easy at first, because it makes me feel safe by building up walls; viewing others with suspicion, and lashing out with violent intentions to protect myself before I am harmed. But slowly over time, it enslaves me to the actions of others by convincing me that I must retaliate hard when I have been wronged and to seek revenge. It leads me to make negative assumptions based on the limited information that I have and conclude that others are evil and without any redeeming qualities. As I gaze down the path of fear, it seems to lead to isolation, pain, and a very narrow view of the world.
I don’t want to walk down that path.
When I look down the path of love, it seems rocky at first. Difficult to navigate because it asks difficult questions and requires deeper reflection. It is a path that recognizes that people are not the worst thing they have ever done and that there is always a complex story and set of circumstances behind every decision we as human beings make, for better or for worse. The path of love leads me to try to find ways to reach out to people in search of common ground and the reflection of the divine that exists in each of us. The path of love leads to a much wider view of the world and to the liberating reality that we are deeply connected to each other; we are all in this together; and whether we want to admit it or not WE NEED EACH OTHER.
I don’t know what that means yet in the context of the events of the past week or how you would have me act to ensure justice both for those young men or for myself, but I trust that you will guide me and guide us all in our quest to live in a safer community. Rev. King said that you require from us a “qualitative change in our souls and a quantitative change in our lives” in order to bring about your presence and reality. It is going to be a long and difficult road ahead for both me and for them as this all plays out in the courts and beyond. But I want to be on the path of love leading to Beloved Community; committed to the work of restoration and reconciliation, building relationships across lines that traditionally have divided, and creating a new climate in our culture that teaches kindness and inclusion and ensures that everyone has enough. You require tireless work over a lifetime, and that can seem overwhelming, but perhaps there are small steps we can start with. One step I’d like to start with is having a picnic in the park where all of this took place to begin with. Maybe that can be a way to move from the path of fear over to the path of love by creating new memories in that space and building new relationships that bring you Beloved Community into closer proximity. Even as I write this, I can feel you getting closer and I hope one day to see you in plain view.
Searching for you and looking forward to your arrival,
Joshua Morgan Noblitt
There will be a picnic in Piedmont Park in the same area where this all played out on Sunday, July 18, 2010 from 3-6pm. The area is the grassy hill between 10th street and the lake. Bring a picnic basket, a blanket and a game or two. All are invited and all are welcome.
Wow. Those are beautiful words. I'm so happy to hear you choosing the path of love. It's so sad that people can be so lost and far away from their hearts that they can justify these acts. I'm so glad to see you looking for the deepest type of healing and not only justice in the courts. You are an example that this world has hope and that we should never just watch the darkest human behaviors and assume that there's little hope. You are an example of the greatest kind, a lighthouse that lost victims can look to to find their way to heal.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't face any persecution from your conference because of this attack! The North Georgia conference has a reputation for being hideously homophobic, though I would be delighted to learn that that reputation is inaccurate.
ReplyDeleteWell, Josh, I just tried to comment on your letter and my computer hic-upped and wiped out what I had written, so I'll try again. What I was saying was...
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for the senseless attack that you and your partner suffered! Your dad said you received a cracked rib and bruises; I hope your partner was not seriously injured also. Yes, it would be so easy to take the path of fear and retaliation -- which is what most of us would probably do. I am so proud of you for having the wisdom to choose the path of love -- and for boldly speaking out about your experience in hopes that you can make good out of something so ugly. I pray that God will bless your decision and will guide you as you go through the days ahead. May He fill your and your partner's hearts with peace, and may He especially be close to you both as you face any future court proceedings. (I assume those who assaulted you have been caught. ??)
Josh, I admire you and wish you the best.
Beautifully written, Josh. I'm sorry you and your friend had to endure this horrible crime. My thoughts and prayers are with you both...As I read this, I felt you have a kind, caring, and forgiving heart. It's ashame that most in our society are blinded with so much hate. But worse, their passing their hate to their children. It's very sad....On another note, my son is gay and I love him immensely. When he gets home from his date, he has to read this. Thank you for sharing something extremely personal. I know writing had to been hard but therapeutic at the same time....Bless you.
ReplyDeleteThat drew me to tears.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Josh, for reflecting in ways that help all of us to grow. Even articulating the "path of love" has to be a great challenge so closely in the wake of an egregiously violent personal assault. Did it end up being labled a "hate crime?" Is the primary evidence eye witness testimony? Were your wallet and phone recovered on one of the kids arrested? Did they finger each other? My lawyer-side wants to know more. Most importantly: thank God you weren't more physically injured than you were. -Rob Acton
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry this happened to you, I have gay friends, and I know they've had some encounters, but nothing like this, and I hope they will never have an encounter like this. All you can do for people like that is pray for them.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story Josh! I adore you for writing with such eloquence. You wrote that you were "praying for guidance and a clear sense of what this all means." I think the meaning in things that we experience are the meanings we give it. As I read it, for me it means that Love really does exist in every living thing and that Love is so powerful that it will shine through darkness to be a light for others. This experience between you, your friend and those men have Lovingly and positively affected and changed the lives of us that have read your perspective about it. Rock on!
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